Friday, December 30, 2011

My 2011 Collage of Thoughts

My 2011 Collage of Thoughts



By Robbyn R. Wallace





Your Attitude + Your Choices = Your Life 




REPEAT AFTER ME: "*I* am responsible for *my* ~feelings, thoughts and actions~, AND *I* control how *I* view and react to the world..." 





I am so beyond being just fed up with Christian HYPOCRITES!! It's crazy how many 'delusional' people there are. Hide behind your religion but in the end it won't matter how often you attend church. What will matter is how you treat people, and what your true intentions are. Maybe you need to worry more about what God would think and less about what people think. Appearance can be VERY deceiving. Just saying!!


Having faith in God is not begging for "your" way but putting it in God's hands and trusting that he knows best.  




What is black to one person is white to another. And nothing in this world is so perfect that it is pure white, or so bad it is pure black. Everything concerning human beings comes in shades of gray. None of us is perfect, without flaws.




I just want to say that LIVING FOR GOD is not all about fellowship and church. Living for God is loving people no matter what, showing kindness and compassion to ALL of God's creation, and helping others mentally, physically, emotionally and/or otherwise. Mother Teresa was not known for always attending church and fellowshipping with those of 'her' faith, but going out and touching the lives of people of all faiths. She was not in it to persuade others to choose her faith, but to have a compassionate heart and love all people. I just wish so many people were not obsessed with their religion. It contaminates their perspective on God's true intentions for mankind. It is easy to love those who agree with you, but it is more important to love and reach out to those who don't and/or won't!! Okay, stepping off my soap box now!! 




When life gives you lemons make lemonade!!!!!! Just saying!! 


THOUGHT = Conscious acts of creation!! 


I am only me, that is who I choose to be. If I weren't me, then who else would I be? You can lie to others, but never to yourself & God! So, be true to yourself because that is what truly matters!!!! 


I love myself, just thought I would put that out there in the universe. To love yourself is to love God!! Just saying...


I might be the weird one in "your" world, but in “my" world you're the weird one. And guess what, I would much rather my world. However, you are welcome to join me anytime!! Visitors welcome!!  


Spiritual growth is a process of learning to live in harmony with the Universe through love and compassion for all God's creation. By practicing patience, understanding, compassion, kindness and love toward self and others you will radiate this energy through the Universe and in effect will touch others, directly and indirectly, and inspire spiritual growth within yourself... There are many paths that lead to God, everyone must choose their own with the conviction God places in their heart. God allows us freedom of choice. When a choice against his will is made, he then allows us to learn and grow from "our" choice. Everyone experiences suffering in one form or another, but God is always there with us. God is within us and all around us!


The human experience is a way for our soul to achieve growth by helping ourself & others, living & learning, loving & understanding, etc. Everything experienced in life has a purpose, and this purpose is for growth. This growth is important for our soul to be a better companion to God. If you fail to find the purpose in each experience, then you fail to grow from it. Suffering just happens to be apart of that, which is why it is allowed. Without it our soul would never know that experience, and in turn would not truly comprehend compassion! When you find acceptance in this process, you will then find understanding and contentment in your heart!! God Bless & May your day be great! Don't forget to smile at at least one person today!! Correction:  If you fail to accept each experience & use it as a tool to help self & others, then you fail to grow from it!! 


Prayer will calm anger and make life mean more:  Absolutely, once anger is calm and forgiveness is given, there is still the fact that actions and words are not forgotten. This doesn't mean that there has to be hard feelings, resentment or revenge, but situations and relationships are forever changed. This is where acceptance of change takes place! Love never dies just changes! Experiencing anger is a part of life, it is how you handle it that defines your character though! 


Emotions are so flippin human!!!! UGH!! Just imagine an existence NOT driven by human emotion but only by love and true understanding. Can you truly grasp the overwhelming presence of peace in that?!?! Anyway, that would be nice but impossible in the human realm. 


The best things in life are free!! Never lose sight of that!! No amount of money or material things can replace those things that come with no cost!! 


Loving from a distance is easy, it's loving up close and personal that can be difficult!! Patience & tolerance are not my best friend, sure wish they were though!! Hoping for a better tomorrow!!!! 


They say curiosity killed the cat, but I say boredom did!!!!! LMBO 


It is so weird how sometimes you can just get lost in the past. I know it isn't good for a person because we are supposed to live in the present, but I just can't seem to help myself sometimes. Sooooo much on my mind! Hoping it goes away soon... "sigh"


A person learns from life what their mind allows. You have to want more to get more. Knowledge is not given, but taken. One must sometimes broaden their mind to inspire even their self!!


There is a conflict within me, one of resistance and constant struggles. I am sad yet happy. Angry yet forgiving. Empty yet fulfilled. Heartless yet full of compassion. Hopeless yet full of hope. Lost yet found by God. Honest yet secretly hiding. Bold yet shy. Lonely yet surrounded by the world and God. Needing yet giving. Unloved yet loved. The internalized conflicts are never ending. Finding compromise, understanding, accepting and allowing oneself to feel what is good and release what isn't. This is where one finds inner peace. It is a never ending journey. It is my destiny, my goal!! 


I wish I had something GREAT to say, but unfortunately I am out of GREAT things to say at the moment. Stay tuned cause you never know when I might though!! heehee 


There are situations and choices in the past which have led up to that moment, and of which that moment is the consequence; and there are situations and choices in the future which spring directly from our response to that moment, and see in turn affected by our present choices. Therefore it makes sense to understand all we can about how we landed ourselves in a particular situation, for this understanding will in turn affect how we respond to life, and therefore what the next 'moment' will bring.


Beauty without substance is like a 'fake' diamond, pretty to look at but has no true value!! 




Life is but a mountain, and I am determined to reach the top no matter the obstacles I may face! Never give up, right? 


Does your child(ren) reflect who you are as a parent? If your child had to demonstrate what they have learned from you, what would he/she have to say? When parenting these are some questions we should be asking our self! We are all-human, thus are flawed. Mistakes are inevitable; it is how we handle them that define us...


I say lift up others despite how you feel, for it is always more fulfilling to make a POSITIVE difference!!!!


Love and be loved. Hate and be hated. JUDGE AND BE JUDGED. Have compassion and compassion will be given back to you. Well, guess I will stop there cause my brain ran out of words!! LOL... 


There are some people in this world that are impossible, and make it hard for good hearted people to have compassion for them! There are consequences for your actions, and it is time to take responsibility and be held accountable. There is a difference between supporting and loving a family member and enabling them! Learn it people!! 


Each struggle in life is an opportunity to shine... Well shoot, guess I still need a little buffing cause my luster is still a little dull!! LOL...


I say, "Love yourself first, then love others as you love yourself! Respect yourself first, then respect others as you respect yourself! All in all, do into others the way you would like others to do unto you." 


It is through our interactions with others that we become aware of our shortcomings and our abilities. It is through our personal encounters that we come to realize what we need to work on, as well as what it is we have with which to work.   


We attract souls to us that sometimes mirror a hidden image of our self, whether in a positive light or negative. Recognition of this is the first step into understanding why the people in our life are apart of it! What are the qualities you admire? Resent? Etc... If you want better, do better and you may attract better!!  


Goal for today: In your heart of hearts, from your soul, truly forgive someone today for a past transgression. Now it is time to unload that luggage you have been carrying around with you, you have no more use for it. Your life shall be enhanced for such a brave act of compassion and understanding!!  

P.S. From this moment on when you think about what was forgiven you will have no more negative emotion toward it. Remember that you are released and now you will feel compassion and understanding in place of anger and resentment! Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetfulness... It's okay to remember, just make sure to let those emotions felt change!!


Goal for today: Go out of your way to be nice to someone that you would never think twice about or someone who may get on your nerves!! Hope all have a great day!! 


Of all the mistakes made, none I am ashamed. For at the very least I learned humility! 


I believe that if you dig deep within yourself you will discover that you have the power to change your life. Just have faith in yourself, and the courage to adjust to transformation. Search for the true meaning in life, your spiritual journey. Once you take that first step you will discover that each step will become clearer and easier than the last. Learn to love, forgive, and have compassion for those you do not understand, for they’re also just living a human existence trying to find their way. Get away from those things that hold you back, and begin to live for a future that you most desire. 


Something to Ponder: When you talk behind someone's back you not only show lack of integrity and character but also you break trust and credibility...


Something to Ponder: People tend to reject things they do not understand!!


Something to Ponder: Scars remind us where we have been, BUT they do not determine where we are going!!


Over time life gave me many lemons that I didn't know what to do with, but eventually I learned to make lemonade. 


Huge pillow fight with my daughter = aching joints!!!! So well worth it tho. Laughed so hard I almost pee'd my pants. Ha. 


(July 4th 2011) 13 Years ago today my family lost a valuable piece of our puzzle, and that piece left us incomplete and always will. I love and miss you little brother, Christopher Wallace. RIP


As unique as we all are, it is amazing how similarly we all function! Have you ever wondered "Has or Does anyone else feel this way?" or "Does anyone understand what I am dealing with or going through?". The answer to those "type" questions is YES! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are many many people who do and have felt and thought exactly as you do. The emotions and thoughts you have are not unique to only you. The same broken record plays in my head as it plays in yours! The big difference is how YOU choose to deal with them! 


Main thing is always to remember you are a spiritual being having a human experience... Sometimes our life experiences are there to help our soul grow. Good and Bad, you always have the power to transform it into a positive outcome from within yourself... 


Yes, I have grey hair... Guess what? I think it's beautiful, and I'm keeping it... Ha... I prefer to be natural!! 




Having faith in God is not begging for "your" way but putting it in God's hands and trusting that he knows best.  


I believe being genuinely happy for other's good fortune shows strong character. We ultimately choose to feel jealous, just as we can choose not to feel it. It is always great to be reminded of our choices when it comes to what kind of person we desire to be. 


Goal for today: say good morning or hi to someone on FB that you normally don't or even wouldn't say it to. That is actively showing your inner love for others!!   


Real Christians are NOT condescending to others. Real Christians treat others as they would want to be treated. It disgusts me that there are some people who go to church every time the doors open, but turn around and treat others like crap or act condescending like they are so much more than they really are. It is called delusions of grandeur people. News Flash: You are NOT that important. I might not go to church, but I promise you one thing I am more of a Christian or righteous than most who do. At least I truly put in an effort to make ALL people feel important. I constantly make myself vulnerable to others because I try to be what GOD wants me to be even if it does cause me to be rejected at times. It just ticks me off how some people are such HYPOCRITES!!!! All I can say is that I pray that people snap out of hipocracy and break the circle with their children. Otherwise, the next generation will be no different. I think it is disturbing that those types are so blind to their ways. And, in my opinion, those who stick their pathetic nose up at others and don't show respect and kindness are some of the worst. I would NEVER want to be known or thought of as that kind of person. I try to acknowledge and show kindness to everyone and teach my daughter the same because showing kindness, compassion, love, understanding and forgiveness to others is the most important quality in any follower of God. If you can't master that then what kind of person are you???? ... I just wish they would realize how they are being perceived because it is NEVER too late to change and make a difference... I say, live by example and if you are going to talk the talk then walk the walk... 


There is NOTHING CHRISTIAN or HOLY about hate, intolerance, prejudice or bullying... Your job is to LOVE not JUDGE, even when it is something that you are against or against your personal beliefs. It's time to start teaching our children that it is NOT okay to bully others for ANY reason. Teach your kids LOVE NOT HATE!!


What good is it to know the Bible inside out if you don't know how to simply be a good person, a loving person, a compassionate and understanding person.... Something to ponder! 


Perfect time to plant your seeds of positivity and watch them grow...


How do you recognize the people that show up in your life that are only there to teach you a lesson?


In a massive, cosmology kind of way, through the concept of thermodynamics, human progress is but an ephemeral and inconsequential episode in a universal decay. Makes you wonder what our energy will converse to... I find it comforting knowing that our energy is infinite, and will become one with our source!! 


We deprive ourself of so much happiness when we allow the past to shape the present! 


Excuses are like butt-holes, everyone has one but yours STINKS!! 


Ever notice how many physically pretty women are some of the ugliest? If you happen to be blessed/cursed with physical beauty do NOT let it go to your head. Realize that it takes a lot more than that to actually be beautiful!!


Letting go of someone is not about letting go of the feelings but instead keeping the love, by moving on and letting them move on as well, and accepting that sometimes love's just not enough.


Thought for the day: If you are a bully OR participate in bullying and that person commits suicide, in my eyes you are associated as participating in premeditated MURDER!! So, you PARENTS out there QUIT teaching, by words and actions, your children intolerance of others differences!! If you are prejudice, or even racist, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, AND for peets-sake do not be 'that' kind of role model for the next generation. READ YOU BIBLE, AND PUT THE 'CHRIST' BACK IN 'CHRISTIAN!! Enough said!! Sorry, but I am quite fed up of hearing of children committing suicide because of this kind of crap... It just hurts my heart... SOMEBODY, EVERYBODY, NEEDS TO SPEAK UP AGAINST BULLYING!!


Scientific studies have shown that forests and other natural green environments have positive health benefits. After spending time in these types of surroundings, people report having a reduction in stress, anger and aggressiveness. Recovery time from stressful situations is faster in natural, green surroundings than in urban areas. Natural surroundings have also been found to improve mood and reduce depression. Still more reports show that spending time in nature helps to lower blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and stress hormone levels.


My thought for the night: I am a friend of great "quality" but don't do too much "quantity" with friends. In other words, I always strive to give such good quality to all my friends that they don't need near as much quantity of my time. 


Ok, one more goofy saying... Embrace the dork within. That's the motto I try to live by. Those who know me well will understand why I say that. I am a dork, and darn proud of it!!!! 


Heavannah Holland, I want you to know how very proud I am of the person you are, the person you're becoming, and the person I know you will be. You fill my heart with so much hope and faith. Every time you stay true to yourself, every time you act as individual and not a follower, and every time you treat another person with kindness and acceptance you realize your potential. You are my heart-n-soul. You are my home. You are everything I live for. You bring me true happiness. You are the main reason God created me. You give my life purpose and meaning. I appreciate you, and what you bring to my life. Thank you for your tolerance of all my imperfections as a parent, and as a friend. I love you T.I.F.E. and so far beyond, even, that. ((HUGZ))


Lovin my simple lil country life, being a single lil Momma, and raising a beautiful sweet daughter... How could I possibly ask for or even want anything more, and I truly mean that!! It's all about finding the joy in each moment or phase of life. Be thankful, no matter how much or less that you have. Make the most of your life at each level. And, always strive to be better, for yourself and those you love. I may not have a lot in some peoples eyes, but in mine I am the richest person in the world.... When Heavannah gets grown a whole new and exciting part of my life, and life goals, will begin to blossom. However, I want to bask in the pure happiness of the current moment... I am excited for the here and now, but still look forward to a wonderful and eventful future. 


Facebook is a but a vehicle for me to express myself and share that expression with others. This is 100% the real me, the only me. I am not ashamed and make no apologies, everyone has a choice as to what and whom they are subjected to. Always remember that and exercise that right! 


Scientifically, what are we really made of? The stuff that we are made of today only requires maybe a handful of little particles. The atoms on the outside, our electrons whirling around like planets, if you'd like, and there is a nucleus in the center of the atom which we used to believe consist of protons and neutrons. Well, it is but deeper down, they in turn, like going to the heart of the cosmic onion, are made of little things called quarks. Two types of quarks, an up quark and a down quark. And that's it, an up and a down quark joined together in different ways. Ultimately, made of the atomic nucleus, an electron whirling around the outside makes the atom. Throw in a nutrino, which is created in radio active processes, and that is the basic particles that makes up everything that you see around you. There are also photon of light which we are seeing with right now, and that is pretty well it. Quarks don't have any size, the size of the radius of a quark is zero. They are like a tiny box full of energy. All matter, including us, is actually made of energy that has congealed into particulate form. That appears to be what we are made of, at least as far as we can see right now. But knowing this opens up an even greater mystery which is, "Why is the stuff we are made of behave the way it does?" Take a minute to really think about this. To me, the particle world is just as mysterious as the cosmic one. AND, I FREAKIN LOVE IT!! :)


I am reminded daily that it is a choice to be happy, peaceful, and content, no matter the circumstances or environment, failures or successes. I "choose" the higher road, the higher path. I "choose" to find peace and happiness within myself. I "choose" not to allow the negativity of this world to determine my inner state of being. I am grateful to live in an existence where there is a "choice"!


Even when you absolutely know it will never last forever you love even more so deeply because one day there will be no tomorrow with that particular person, however, the impact of that love will last an eternity.


Feel! Yes, feel. Whether it be bad or good, just feel it. With it's full impact. What does it do to you? What can it do? Destroy or empower? Your choice! What ignites your fire, the fire within you? Only you know, and only you can chose and act upon.


My brain is infested with thoughts of you!! My heart is tortured with my love for you!! Every fiber of me, down to my very soul, aches for you and only you!! So what do I do without you, with me, always? Every breath I take comes with a price, life continuing without you, my love! You complete me! You are my happy place, my home! I need you! I want you in my life! I have to have you in my life! I will never give up! You are forever in my heart, and I love you, my beautiful soulmate!!


I am at peace, and content, within and with myself, even though I could say my life is lacking goal time-line. However, the climb is worth the view at the top, even when you have to stop and rest more often than intended!! :)


On this earth there is belief that we are separate from source. This is a fear-based reality. From the time we are born we are programmed with belief systems from our family, country, culture, education, religion, etc., without the ability to discern what is authentic for us. In essence, we create a persona based on other people’s perceptions and reactions to our behaviors. This creates a false self, one born out of a reactive consciousness, manufactured personality based on image.


The first talk I had with my daughter about 1st went something like this. (You know, 1st kisses, etc.) Her logic: You said you had your 1st kiss at 12 years old, so it must be ok. My logic to her: I'm not the best example to live by dear, and I expect and want better for you. I smoked my 1st joint at your age, and that definitely was and is NOT ok or good. You can do better than that, and I expect better. So, for future reference just because I did something at your age does NOT make it ok for you. Again, I am not the best example of my expectations for you. I can't go back and change it, but, through you, I can make it right (aka... A Lesson Learned) It's these type opportunities that define what we are instilling in our children. I took this opportunity to share my expectations, to be honest in my own mistakes, to be earnest in my lessons learned, and to communicate on a "real" level with my child. We are all imperfect, we have all made errors in judgement at one point or another no matter the severity. It is ok to show humility, by showing you are teaching. We should always express our desire for a better experience for our child. Always remember, your child is also a person. And, more than likely YOU are their primary role model. Moral here: Communication and understanding is key.


It's not where I have been in life, it is about where I am destined and getting there justly. Through my, many, bad judgments in life I have learned how to live, learn, grow and teach. I am neither ashamed nor regretful, for I gained a world of understanding, knowledge and wisdom!


Reactive behavior creates intense sparks of light but eventually leaves darkness in its wave. Nestled within our reactive behavior is the desire for instant gratification. It offers a quick high that makes us feel alive and in control of our lives. We can become addicted to this feeling, just as a runner does to endorphins or a drug addict to heroin, crack, or cocaine.


Don't ever mistake my kindness or kind-heartedness for weakness, cause believe me I have strength you can only dream of. Booyah Baby... Ha


Even though I am very hopeful of a peaceful tomorrow for our future generations, I am forever indebted to all who have protected, even helped shape, our great nation, our world. Thank you to ALL veterans! My heart breaks knowing the cost, emotionally & physically, many have paid to serve their nation. I remain thankful, everyday, that I gained so much, instead of loss of self, through all my experiences in the military and even my tour in Iraq. We are a blessed Nation!! Shout out to all my comrads, but MOSTLY my Dad & Grandfather, who both inspired me to follow my own path of service!! :)


What is black to one person is white to another. And nothing in this world is so perfect that it is pure white, or so bad it is pure black. Everything concerning human beings comes in shades of gray. None of us is perfect, without flaws.


I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY PRECIOUS, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, INSIDE AND OUT, DAUGHTER, HEAVANNAH HOLLAND! SHE IS MY WORLD, MY LIFE, MY DREAMS, MY HOPES, AND EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED AND NEEDED IN LIFE. T.I.F.E. (TO INFINITY FOR ETERNITY) ALWAYS AND FOREVER. I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR THIS WONDERFUL GIFT THAT I WAS BLESSED WITH. 


What does it truly mean to be a good parent? Selfless and unconditional love, without being an enabler. Sacrifice, of people and material things. Protecting at ALL costs. Knowing that you would lose the world and anything in it for your child without a second thought, and doing the right thing. Absorbing all the hurt and pain, being a cushion of protection. Nurturing, sharing, loving, protecting, and being a good example, someone that can be admired and respected in their eyes. Doing what is right, even when it isn’t easy. Practicing what you preach so that they learn to do the same. Showing compassion for them, and for all God’s creation. Discipline, structure, and teaching when necessary. Tough love, when necessary. Quality time with them is more important than quantity, even though quantity is great when available. Respect, given and received. Being honest and teaching honesty, no matter the consequences. Participating, being an active role model and playing an active role in their life with consistency. Learning and growing together as a family. Being the rock when they need something solid to lean on. Loving… Laughing… Living… Allowing them to see the humanity in you as a parent and a person. Being accessible to their needs. Teaching morals and values that will last a lifetime, a foundation they can build upon for the rest of their life. The list is endless, but this is a start… There is no mountain too tall, no valley too low, no ocean to wide to be the best parent you can be to your precious, gift(s), child(ren). Love them, protect them, cherish them and do not take them for granted, for you are not promised tomorrow to make it right with them… Do it NOW!! Let them know they are loved, cherished, and appreciated for the wonderful person they are and can be. Teach them to have compassion for all of God’s creation, in return they may love and be loved beyond our expectations!!


Everyone deserves equality! It is time for people to put aside prejudice and discrimination!! Hopefully people will open up their hearts and minds, and realize that we are ALL children of God! Throughout history prejudice and discrimination has consumed the hearts of many good people! When has prejudice or discrimination ever served a higher purpose or brought anyone to God? NEVER! The journey to God is NOT through any negative thought or action to self or another, but through the love and compassion that ties us all to God! You cannot live for God with hatred in your heart!! 


Plant seeds... Some may grow right away... Some seeds may take longer to develop or grow... And some may never grow... But all we can do is plant the seeds and let God do the rest! 


I do not aim to change peoples mind, just broaden it!! 


I am weary in my human sufferings. My spirit is wounded and hiding. Knowing and doing seem so distant in wisdom. My heart is broken beyond a million pieces, with an impossibility of ever being whole again. My soul sheds so many tears knowing that pain is ultimately inflicted by and to each of us. We are infected with saturated half-truths and contaminated knowledge. Like a virus we continue on consuming all in our way. Stop, slow down, take a minute to see what is right in front of you. Hope becoming so dim, leaving it difficult to see the path and find our way. Faith diminishes with each failure. Is it too late, has it been too long. How do we go on. Weakness can be the demise of a good thing. Love and hate flirt religiously with one another. Can we overcome pain by replacing it with love, is it ever too late. Once again I say, I am very weary in my human sufferings. Yet I must continue on, while trying to remember my song!!


Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for everything in and of itself. Good and bad, I am shaped by all that was, is, and will be in my life. But, I think I am most Thankful for my daughter who brings richness, beyond belief, to my life. I am constantly memorized by the person she was and is. She completes me and my life. Hope everyone has a blessed and wonderful day!! Don't forget to focus on gratitude on this day of thanks!! ♥


Thought of the day: Never think there is any excuse for being mean spirited that would be considered appropriate, there is not. In the end it can always be simplified to the basic saying 'Do unto others as you would want to be done'. Think it out. It may also help improve and/or strengthen your decision-making processes. Be Blessed!! :)


Inner strength is an amazing and enduring quality. One of the hardest tasks is to love in the face of adversity, forgive when it hurts the most, understand when it makes no sense, and carry on when you feel like giving up. If you can manage these tasks in the end you will find yourself with inner peace in knowing you overcame odds and proclaimed your relationship with the higher intelligence/God! May all have a Blessed Day! Take time to appreciate yourself today, and what you add to this world. Remember, we all add something a little special!!







My daughter truly amazes me. It warms my heart when she reflects wisdom beyond her years. It gives me comfort that she is learning some of the most important lessons I constantly preach to her. Even better, it gives me joy to see her walk the walk and be the person I hoped and prayed her to be. All the good grades in the world can't compare to that!! Just saying... :)






Thought for Today: Appreciate that God gave us a brain to learn with, ears to listen with, mouth to speak with, heart to love with, eyes to see with, people who have the desire to teach others, and the internet and FaceBook as a great tool to reach others' hearts and minds! May all Be Blessed!







The great thing about cliche's is that they are usually correct, sometimes it just takes time and appreciation to understand how they work!! 


Example:


"This too shall pass"! This is true on the most basic of levels, EVERYTHING PASSES (sooner or later). If you can just hold on and be strong through the storm, eventually it will calm and you will appreciate the strength it gave you. 


When you are in the midst of struggles, pain or grief it is so difficult to have faith that there is always better days ahead. In the midst of a struggle, pain or grief it may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. However, you have to be determined within yourself to make the most out of your life, learn and grow spiritually, always give back or pay it forward, and sooner or later that light at the end of the tunnel will become visible!!






Complacent with my thoughts, hoping for burst of ideas to form a magnificent ideal! Tired of being trapped within this confinement, ready for true freedom! So much compassion wasted on nothingness! Wanting more, needing less, and having what is. Struggles drowning my spirit within. The light at the end of the tunnel is still so dim. Trying to live up to expectations and desires, falling short. Not giving up, just struggling to continue. When will I have my hearts desire, wondering if it will ever come again. Discouraging at times but hopeful always, I will fight til the end. Without my dreams I am nothing. Dreams not consisting of earthly pleasure, but fulfillment of my soul. My purpose nothing but divine til the end of time, then passing into infinity is what I most desire! I am a spirit having a human experience, not the other way around! 







I hope it pours down raining tonight!! I want to sit on my back porch, relax and listen. :)






The difference between Prayer and Meditation: Prayer is supplication to God, and Meditation is listening to His answer!! 


Being quiet, in mind and body, gives God a chance to whisper in your ear. It's more important to hear God's direction than begging for your wishes or desires. God is always there to lead you through, inevitable, struggles, pain, and even grief. Let His whispers touch your soul and comfort your spirit. Find peace and solace in his wisdom. 


When my ears fail to hear I have faith that my heart got the message and will guide me through helping me to make choices that are in tune with God's desire for me and my life. I try to always view all things with understanding from a higher perspective than merely my ego perspective. It can be very difficult at times, but it always proves invaluable in my spiritual growth and relationship to God. 










Something to ponder: When it comes down to it ALL humans have the innate need to be accepted by others, and when denied that acceptance it causes emotions of pain and hurt to turn to never ending anger.




Personality is how we interact and communicate with the world around us. Personality defines a degree of our character. Personality can be altered, improved, and/or strengthened. Each thought eventually finds a way to express itself, whether through our interactions with the world around us or even how we treat our-self. Be the change you wish to see in the world! Only you can change "your" world and in turn possibly change someone elses, sometimes just merely through a change in perception. Take that first step by focusing each thought, each action and reaction in a positive direction!! 





EVERY MIND IS A FOREIGN COUNTRY!! All are absolutely unique in the combination thoughts, desires, feelings, and beliefs. :)





Friday, April 1, 2011

Our Sojourn Through Time And Space



Our Sojourn Through Time And Space
By Robbyn Wallace

Our purpose in life is to become whole; to learn the lessons needed to accomplish such a task is available through our interactions with one another. As we are born we become unaware, as our sojourn begins and takes form. Who are we? We are so much more than this simple human existence, which is a shell of who we really are. Hidden by human characteristics and human experience, struggling with the human ego. The more love, compassion, faith, etc. we embrace, the closer we become to wholeness and our trueness. We each have a path, a journey. To be more compassionate of one another’s own journey, the more we become whole and one with our creator. We need one another more than we realize, cause without the lessons we provide one another we can never become whole. These lessons are not always easy, but we should always be compassionate towards even our enemies. Forgiveness is the key; there is no true vindication through revenge or vengeance. If one lets anger and fear reside within them, wholeness will never be possible. Let go of anger and fear, for it does nothing but hold us back from our true potential. Just let go and be free. Practice makes perfect those things we most desire to grow within us. Find peace and solace in each moment of life, for there is joy to be found even in the most mundane of experiences. Others weaknesses allow opportunities for growth, your weaknesses also in return can provide opportunities for others growth as well. Together we can help one another find the wholeness and oneness with our creator. Love comes from within and radiates outward, effecting all that our existence touches. Each of us holds the power to help others. Helping others is something that comes from within; one should not help with ulterior motives in mind. Love without expectancies, even when love is not returned in full. Love should always be unconditional, even when choices are hard and results are not desirable. Life is too short to expect anything less of oneself!! 

Friday, March 4, 2011

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A PARENT

 
“What Does It Mean To Be A Parent”
by Robbyn Wallace



There comes a time in your life when you have to make choices, actually many times in your life. The choices you make will determine the outcome, and consequences are inevitable. How far would you, as a parent, go to protect your child, even from the possibility, from being hurt? Sometimes these choices are so hard that you do not know how you will survive them. Especially when the choices being made have to be done at the cost of others feelings, even those that may or may not be guilty and that you love so much. Making the right choices for yourself and your child, this is most important.

What does it truly mean to be a good parent?

Selfless and unconditional love, without being an enabler. Sacrifice, of people and material things. Protecting at ALL costs. Knowing that you would lose the world and anything in it for your child without a second thought, and doing the right thing. Absorbing all the hurt and pain, being a cushion of protection. Nurturing, sharing, loving, protecting, and being a good example, someone that can be admired and respected in their eyes. Doing what is right, even when it isn’t easy. Practicing what you preach so that they learn to do the same. Showing compassion for them, and for all God’s creation. Discipline, structure, and teaching when necessary. Tough love, when necessary. Quality time with them is more important than quantity, even though quantity is great when available. Respect, given and received. Being honest and teaching honesty, no matter the consequences. Participating, being an active role, and playing an active role, in their life with consistency. Learning and growing together as a family. Being the rock when they need something solid to lean on. Loving… Laughing… Living… Allowing them to see the humanity in you as a parent and a person. Being accessible to their needs. Teaching morals and values that will last a lifetime, a foundation they can build upon for the rest of their life. The list is endless, but this is a start…

There is no mountain too tall, no valley too low, no ocean to wide to be the best parent you can be to your precious, gift(s), child(ren). Love them, protect them, cherish them and do not take them for granted, for you are not promised tomorrow to make it right with them… Do it NOW!! Let them know they are loved, cherished, and appreciated for the wonderful person they are and can be. Teach them to have compassion for all of God’s creation, in return they may love and be loved beyond our expectations!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY PRECIOUS, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, INSIDE AND OUT, DAUGHTER, HEAVANNAH HOLLAND! SHE IS MY WORLD, MY LIFE, MY DREAMS, MY HOPES, AND EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED AND NEEDED IN LIFE. T.I.F.E. (TO INFINITY FOR ETERNITY) ALWAYS AND FOREVER. I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR THIS WONDERFUL GIFT THAT I WAS BLESSED WITH.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

MYSELF WITHIN


Myself Within
By Robbyn Wallace

It's okay, you can come out to play. No need to feel ashamed, you are not to blame. Truth will set you free, it's okay to just be me. No shame out there nor in here, there is nothing left to fear. There is more than just hope, it's time to learn to cope. For I am just me, who else could I possibly be! So much to give, so go out and live.


Soul Journey

 
Soul Journey
By Robbyn Wallace

Complacent with my thoughts, hoping for burst of ideas to form a magnificent ideal! Tired of being trapped within this confinement, ready for true freedom! So much compassion wasted on nothingness! Wanting more, needing less, and having what is. Struggles drowning my spirit within. The light at the end of the tunnel is still so dim. Trying to live up to expectations and desires, falling short. Not giving up, just struggling to continue. When will I have my hearts desire, wondering if it will ever come again. Discouraging at times but hopeful always, I will fight til the end. Without my dreams I am nothing. Dreams not consisting of earthly pleasure, but fulfillment of my soul. My purpose nothing but divine til the end of time, then passing into infinity is what I most desire! I am a spirit having a human experience, not the other way around!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

FALSE MEMORY

False Memory
Cognitive Psychology
By Robbyn Wallace
2004




Abstract

The phenomenon of false memory became an important issue in the 1980’s and 1990’s. At that time, many patients asserted they recalled memories of being sexually assaulted as a child. In many cases, false memories had been suggested or implanted by analysts. False memory became important in resolving many court cases. Analysts became targets for lawsuits due to implantation of false memories. Early studies were performed to verify if false memory was possible. In the last years of the twentieth century, more studies were performed to learn about false memory and how it can be affected, developed, altered and recalled. The results of the latest studies show false memory can and does occur. It can be altered by outside influences. False memories can be forced out of memory. They can be recalled freely. Within the studies considered, none showed the impact of emotions on false memory. This report will reflect the publications of experiments considered and reviewed. But, as none of them conclude emotion may act as an outside influence for false memory, they do not go far enough. Clearly, there is a need for a study to determine how false memory can be influenced by emotion in real life situations.
 



False Memory

False memory does not exist. It occurs. False memories are formed or retrieved in an atmosphere conditioned by the emotional state of the subject during the time the event occurs. People use sensory details to distinguish their memories. Memory is the key component in understanding theories of cognition. Some memories are true. Some are a blend of fact and fantasy. Others are entirely false. Due to the reconstructive nature of memory, some memories may be distorted through influences such as the incorporation of new information. The resulting memories, not based in historical reality, have been called false memories, pseudo-memories and memory illusions. Memory abilities and limitations are vital to understanding problem solving, decision-making, attention, and perception. False memory may impair these abilities.
    

Every aspect of cognition depends upon memory. How well one remembers things is an important issue for theories of cognition. To understand problem solving, decision-making, attention and perception one must know the abilities and limitations of memory. Quality of memory is important for practical reasons. Many events rely upon reports from human observers. Memory accuracy is critical to eyewitness testimony in criminal trials. Witnesses to crimes must accurately recall details of a traumatic event. Without accurate recall, witnesses could describe details differently than viewed. It is difficult to access memory without objective evidence such as pictures or tape recordings. It is also important in day-to-day events such as spousal arguments concerning who said what. Technical and mundane tasks require accurate recognition of memories in everyday situations.
    

Memory can be highly affected by suggestion. How can one be sure of where a memory originates? Does it originate from one’s own recollections, someone else’s suggestion, a dream, and pictures? An example: Can you remember your first birthday? If so, is it truly your own recollection? Actual memories can be induced when a person is encouraged to imagine specific events with no concern as to whether the event actually occurred—as when under hypnosis. In many cases, imagining an event will increase a subject’s belief the event actually occurred. This report proposes that false memory exist as a condition of cognition. There are many different studies on the subject of false memory; however, there is a need for studies to include the effect of emotions on false memory.




Method

Three publications dealing with different factors affecting false memory are considered. The first publication studied the effects of manipulated studied and test modalities. The experimenter presented lists of words in auditory and visual modalities to participants. The second publication considers the affects of free and forced retrieval on false recall and recognition. By working in a controlled setting, there is greater control over variables that can be more easily identified and theories tested. The third publication deals with the affect of outside influences on false memory, by considering the effects of stress and personality traits. However, none of these studies consider the role that emotion play on false memories in real life conditions. 

The study conducted in the first publication compared states of awareness for both correct and false recognition’s across the four combinations of auditory and visual modalities at study and test. This experiment used fifty-six undergraduate students from several universities. The materials used were twelve of the 24 15-word lists used by Roediger and McDermott (199; Expt 2). (Maylor & Mo, 1999)

Maylor and Mo, the experimenters, developed several lists including critical theme words. In each of the lists, twelve words were used as critical theme words. For each study list the experimenters created a corresponding recognition test. Each of the twelve-item lists contained a critical theme word, seven studied words and four non-studied words. The critical theme words always appeared in a specific position on the list. They were always at the ninth, tenth, or eleventh position. Fifty-six students participated in the experiment. There were four experimental conditions. Assignment of the tests was performed randomly for the fifty-six student participants. (Maylor and Mo, 1999)

The participants were tested individually. Participants were instructed their memory would be tested on a series of word lists presented. They were informed whether the to-be-remembered words would be presented auditory or visually. Participants were required to count backwards aloud in threes from a randomly assigned 3-digit number for 15’s; this was required immediately after the presentation of each list. After each presentation of the list there was distracter task. Written responses were required. Participants then indicated whether each word was old (studied) or new (non-studied). They were asked to judge the level of awareness for each word considered as old. (Maylor & Mo, 1999)

In studying false memory, the experimenters studied remember, know and guess responses. The instructions they designed were based upon earlier studies. Remember responses were designed to be items with which the participants had experience and participants could recall something of that experience. Know responses were designed as items for which participants had no experience, but were confident they had studied the item. Guess responses were those for which participants had no experience or confidence of prior study. (Maylor and Mo, 1999)

The aim was to discover whether study and test modalities had consistent or opposite effects on correct and false memories. This experiment showed results that for auditory presentation at study, false recognition rates were lower than correct recognition rates. For visual presentation at study, correct recognition rates were lower than false recognition rates. (Maylor & Mo, 1999) “When study and test modalities match, stored sensory information can be used to enhance the correct recognition of studied words and to reduce the false recognition of critical lures. On the other hand, when study and test modalities differ, stored sensory information is less useful and so correct recognition is reduced and false cognition is increased.” (Maylor & Mo, 1999) Maylor and Mo demonstrated that false memory occurs across various combinations of auditory and visual modalities at study and test. This study confirms the occurrence of false memory by expansion of earlier studies.

The second publication emphasizes use of the DRMRS (Deese-Roediger-McDermott-Read-Solso or “drummers”) procedure. This procedure consists of using word lists to identify accurate and false recall. An alternative study determined there might be common processes in the DRMRS procedure and in real life. It is postulated that false recall can be processed during presentation, tests, or both. It is suggested that students recall more critical concepts as memories rather than studied list items. This theory has been strongly challenged various experimenters. By using forced methods for recall, participants may have relaxed standards for reporting critical concepts. Free retrieval developed more accurate recall. In other words, while false memory exists, it can be affected by the method of extraction.

The participants in this experiment were members of two psychology research methods classes, and they were assigned randomly to the free and forced retrieval instruction conditions. In the two conditions, participants for class one; there were 27 (free) and 26 (forced). The corresponding numbers in class two were 24 and 23. The lists were read in opposite order in class one than from class two. The materials consisted of six lists of 14 words associated with the central concepts (sleep, book, cold, eat, needle, and high), which the procedure was taken from the DRMRS procedure. This experiment constructed the cold list. The other lists were used from other studies constructed previously. (McKelvie, 2001)

The procedure used were two experimental groups that were given their retrieval instructions separately, in each class. The participants were then immediately brought together for testing in a single session. Both groups were told specifically how the experiment was to be conducted. They were also aware that they would have to immediately recall the items on each list in any order after it was read. In the free retrieval condition they were told to write down as many words as they could on the 14 spaces provided. The participants in the forced retrieval were to fill all 14 spaces. Class one and two were read the six lists in opposite order. The lists were read in order, depending on class, by the experimenter at a 3-s pace, with 2.5 min permitted for immediate written recall of each list. There was a rating scale to be completed after each word was recalled, which consisted of rating it for confidence. It was a 6-point scale: 4 – certain, 3 = very confident, 2 = reasonably confident, 1 = slightly confident, 0 = word written but no confidence it was on the list, -1 = word written but you think it was not on the list. The participants were required to rate each word they recalled. Once the participants completed the final list, they were then given an unannounced 18-word recognition test that contained three words pertinent to each of the six lists. (McKelvie, 2001)

The third publication references an experiment conducted in a laboratory setting where participants are shown pictures and words. It focuses on outside variables including stress imagery, trait anxiety and depression. The experimenters discuss hypnosis as a mental state variable, but relied more upon results from tests utilizing the variables of stress and trait anxiety. “A false memory in this task was defined as recalling as a picture, an item that had actually been presented as a word.” (Roberts, 2002)

The design of this experiment was to use the same questionnaires and to have the participants participate in the same memory task. Participants were tested early in the first semester and then late in the second semester prior to the end of year examinations, this allowed stress to be manipulated in a quasi-experimental way within participants. The experiment included 60 undergraduate students from Murdoch University. The materials and apparatus used in this experiment started with a set of 60 concrete nouns and 60 line drawings depicting these words, but in order to ensure that each drawing was identified with its associated verbal label there were five judges that were ask to name each picture. After the elimination process, the final set consisted of 50 words and pictures that were randomly assigned half to Set A and half to Set B. One set contained 25 words and the other set contained 25 pictures. There were four separate questionnaires used. The four questionnaires used were “The Speilberger (1969) State-Trait Anxiety Inventory (STAI), the Beck (1987) Depression Inventory (BDI), the Questionnaire on Mental Imagery (QMI, Sheehan, 1967) and the Verbalizer-Visualizer Questionnaire (VVQ, Richardson, 1994)” (Roberts, 2002). 

The procedure in this experiment was to administer one testing session early in the first semester and one testing session late in the second semester prior to the participant’s first examination during final examinations. The second testing session occurred between seven and eight months from the first testing session. The tests were administered in-groups of two to 15 in a quiet room. Participants were told that the experiment was on how people classify objects. In the first testing session participants were exposed to Set A, and were exposed to Set B in the second testing session, which the order was switched per group. There were three phases per testing session. The slides of pictures and words were presented for five seconds each in the first phase, and between each slide there was a blank screen present for one second. The participants were told that their accuracy on this test would be scored. There were a total of 50 slides presented, of which at the end the participant had to record their tally of animate and inanimate objects on a response sheet. The participants filled out the QMI, VVQ, STAI and BDI, in that order, in the second phase of the experiment. Participants were asked to recall all the pictures that had previously been presented and to write the names of those pictures on the response sheet, this was done in phase three. Participants were told not to write the names of words previously presented, and only two minutes was allowed for this task. Then participants were given a two-minute break before completing the second task, which consisted of again recalling previous pictures and writing words for the picture on a different response sheet. Participants were finally asked to make a “remember” or “know” judgment to each of the items they had recalled on the second attempt of the recall task. The experiment had an approximate duration of 45 minutes. (Roberts, 2002)




Discussion

The various studies conducted established the existence of false memory. Two of the publications considered outside influences, which included the method of extracting false memory. The outside influences included stress, personality traits, and other factors. The publications did not consider the impact that emotions in real life situations have on false recall. Each publication was a giant step toward recognition and manipulation of false memory. By not including the filtering affect of emotions, the studies may not validate real life experiences. Emotions trigger how a memory etches itself into brain asymmetry, and the validity of its recall. What are emotions? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary emotions are: “a psychic and physical reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feelings and physiologically involving changes that prepare the body for immediate vigorous action.” Emotion can be the key component on whether or not a vivid memory is captured. In a scenario of a first date, where the person’s senses are heightened, they are more inapt to recall vivid details following the date. When the senses are at a more positive heightened state, memories seem to be captured more accurately. Understandably, highly negative emotions may trigger memory to be repressed. Emotions are an important factor on accurate recall; they can either diminish or enhance details of a memory. Further more, strong emotion can cause the development of false memories as a defense mechanism. Without considering the role emotions play on memory, one cannot conclude the accurate validity of false recall. However, each study done is a stepping-stone to better understanding of false memory. 




Conclusion

Freud postulated that many physical ailments of women patients were the result of sexual activity before the age of eight. The 1896 report shocked Europe. One year later, he abandoned his “seduction theory”, as there had been too many cases to be believable. In fact, it is possible Freud unwittingly implanted false memories during the interview process. (Fraser, 1994) There has been much controversy due to implantation of false memories during therapy, which led to numerous studies of false memory. The most commonly recognized false memory concerns was sexual abuse cases from childhood, being recalled during adulthood. In the 1980’s and 1990’s so many cases, of recalled child abuse, were brought to the attention of the public by news media. It became imperative for studies to determine the validity of previously unrecalled memories, due to the overwhelming publicity of recalled sexual abuse through therapy.

While various researchers employed different methodologies, similar conclusions about false memory were developed. Most studies were constructed through word or sentence recall tasks. They were primarily constructed with special distracters, which were used to help identify false memories. These special distracters were usually words or sentences that fit into the list or other sentences shown. There were also normal distracters, which may not have fit into the flow of the other words or sentences. Research on false memory included other test, which included color, pictures, videos, and sound. 

False memories can sometimes seem more valid than actual memories. In word structured studies confidence level of recall was higher for words that did not appear than for words that did appear. Interestingly, if people could have such confidence to recall words that did not appear in a list, then one cannot be certain of a person’s recall of an actual event.




References

Fraser, S. (1994, March). FREUD’S FINAL SEDUCTION. Saturday Night, 109(2), 19, 7.
 

Lampinen, J. M., Neuschatz, J. S., Payne, D. G. (Fall97/Winter98). MEMORY ILLUSIONS AND CONSCIOUSNESS: EXAMINING THE PHENOMENOLOGY OF TRUE AND FALSE MEMORIES. Current Psychology, 16(3/4), 181, 44.
 

Maylor, E. A., Mo, A. (1999, November). EFFECTS OF STUDY-TEST MODALITY ON FALSE RECOGNITION. Journal of Psychology, 90(4), 477, 17.
 

McKelvie, S. J. (2001, July). EFFECTS OF FREE AND FORCED RETRIEVAL INSTRUCTIONS ON FALSE RECALL AND RECOGNITION. Journal of General Psychology, 128(3), 261, 18.
 

Roberts, P. (2002). Vulnerability to False Memory: The Effects of Stress, Imagery, Trait Anxiety, and Depression. Current Psychology, 21(3), 240, 13.








Thursday, January 27, 2011

Wings of Deception by (My Mother) Pamela Carron

 

"Wings of Deception"

By Pamela Carron 



Product Description

Asa, an age old entity needs a new body. He has chosen one that belongs to Jacks, an avid atheist and attorney, specializing in child abuse victims. Honey, an agnostic psychotherapist, is transformed by a child with a terminal illness. Sheila, a legal secretary, is forced into marriage with a member of a dark cult and Dwight, the pastor of a small rural church, finds himself a single parent after the death of his wife. The four all band together to win a battle of good versus evil. In the fight for his life Jacks discovers his soul and his soul mate. This thrilling inspirational, romantic adventure takes place in New York City, rural Mississippi and the Sierra Mountains. 

Biography

Carron grew up in rural Mississippi, the sixth of
eleven children. She currently resides in Neshoba
County, Mississippi. She enjoys traveling and The
Shadows Dim was written in South Portland, Maine,
and Athens, Greece. The sequel, Whisper of the
Sun was published after returning from a summer
spent in a little fishing village, Sayulita, Mx.
When home, Carron spends time with her large extended
family. She is currently working on an exciting
spiritual fantasy due to be released November of 2010.
The Shadows Dim is dedicated to the memory of
her Mother, Catherine Rushing-Harvey,who passed
away five days after her daughter's first book signing.

Carron's life was filled with trials and triumphs
which gave her the aspiration of becoming a
published author. Having a love of words and the
imagination it takes to build unforgettable
characters, she embarks upon a journey which she
invites her readers to accompany her on.
Simple and true to life fiction of The Shadows Dim
and Whisper of the Sun promises chapter after
chapter of suspense and to keep the reader
involved in the story line until the very end, leaving
you wanting more. Only Carron knows if there will
be a third book in this most delightful story of
drama, intrigue, love and forgiveness so stay tuned
to find out.
 
This biography was provided by the author or their representative.

You can find her books at amazon.com! Click on the link below or copy and paste it into your browser!!

http://www.amazon.com/Pamela-Carron/e/B003ZYO72U/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Bipolar Pharmacological Treatments

Bipolar Pharmacological Treatments

Robbyn R. Wallace




Bipolar disorder is characterized by many symptoms that can be broken into manic and depressive episodes.  The depressive episodes are characterized by intense feelings of sadness and despair that can become feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.  Some of the symptoms of a depressive episode include anhedonia, disturbances in sleep and appetite, psychomotor retardation, loss of energy, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, difficulty thinking, indecision, and recurrent thoughts of death and suicide (Hollandsworth, Jr. 1990).  The manic episodes are characterized by elevated, expansive or irritable mood, increased energy/hyperactivity, pressure of speech, flight of ideas, inflated self esteem, decreased need for sleep, poor judgment and insight, and often reckless or irresponsible behavior (Hollandsworth, Jr. 1990).  Rarest symptoms were periods of loss of all interest and retardation or agitation (Weisman, 1991).  Most commonly, individuals with manic episodes experience a period of depression.  Bipolar disorder is diagnosed if an episode of mania occurs, whether depression has been diagnosed or not (Goodwin, Guze, 1989, p 11).  Bipolar disorder affects approximately one percent of the population (approximately three million people) in the United States.  As the National Depressive and Manic Depressive Association (MDMDA) have demonstrated, bipolar disorder can create substantial developmental delays, marital and family disruptions, occupational setbacks, and financial disasters. This devastating disease causes disruptions of families, loss of jobs and millions of dollars in cost to society. Many time’s bipolar patients report that the depressions are longer and increase in frequency as the individual ages. Often time's bipolar states and psychotic states are misdiagnosed as schizophrenia.  Speech patterns help distinguish between the two disorders (Lish, 1994).  

Table 1 

Classification of Mood Disorders
────────────────────────────────────────
Bipolar disorder (a) Depressive disorder (b)
────────────────────────────────────────
Bipolar I Major depressive disorder
     Manic episode Major depressive episode
     Mixed episode             Dysthymic disorder
Bipolar II Depressive disorder NOS
     Hypomanic episode
Cyclothymic disorder
Bipolar disorder NOS
────────────────────────────────────────

Note. Categories are from the text revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (4th ed.; APA, 2000). Classification of mood disorders excludes those mood disorders that are due to a general medical condition or a substance. NOS _ not otherwise specified. (a) These disorders involve either depressive episodes or symptoms. (b) By definition, assigning a depressive disorder diagnosis indicates that there has never been a history of manic or hypomanic episodes or symptoms. (Rivas-Vazquez, Rey, Johnson, & Blais, 2002)

The onset of Bipolar disorder usually occurs between the ages of 20 and 30 years of age, with a second peak in the mid-forties for women. A typical bipolar patient may experience eight to ten episodes in their lifetime. However, those who have rapid cycling may experience more episodes of mania and depression that succeed each other without a period of remission (DSM III-R).  The three stages of mania begin with hypomania, in which patients report that they are energetic, extroverted and assertive (Hirschfeld, 1995). The hypomania state has led observers to feel that bipolar patients are "addicted" to their mania. Hypomania progresses into mania and the transition is marked by loss of judgment (Hirschfeld, 1995). Often, euphoric grandiose characteristics are displayed, and paranoid or irritable characteristics begin to manifest. The third stage of mania is evident when the patient experiences delusions with often-paranoid themes. Speech is generally rapid and hyperactive behavior manifests sometimes associated with violence (Hirschfeld, 1995).  When both manic and depressive symptoms occur at the same time it is called a mixed episode. Those afflicted are a special risk because there is a combination of hopelessness, agitation, and anxiety that makes them feel like they "could jump out of their skin"(Hirschfeld, 1995). Up to 50% of all patients with mania have a mixture of depressed moods. Patients’ report feeling dysphoric, depressed, and unhappy; yet, they exhibit the energy associated with mania. Rapid cycling mania is another presentation of bipolar disorder. Mania may be present with four or more distinct episodes within a 12-month period. There is now evidence to suggest that sometimes rapid cycling may be a transient manifestation of the bipolar disorder. This form of the disease exhibits more episodes of mania and depression than bipolar.

Table 2 

Core Features of Mania and Hypomania
──────────────────────────────────────────────────
1. Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
2. Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hr of sleep)
3. More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
4. Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
5. Distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)
6. Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
7. Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)
──────────────────────────────────────────────────

Note. From the text revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (4th ed.; APA, 2000). (Rivas-Vazquez, Rey, Johnson, & Blais, 2002)

Lithium has been the primary treatment of bipolar disorder since its introduction in the 1960's.  It is main function is to stabilize the cycling characteristic of bipolar disorder.  In four controlled studies by F. K. Goodwin and K. R. Jamison, the overall response rate for bipolar subjects treated with Lithium was 78% (1990).  Lithium is also the primary drug used for long- term maintenance of bipolar disorder.  In a majority of bipolar patients, it lessens the duration, frequency, and severity of the episodes of both mania and depression.  Unfortunately, as many as 40% of bipolar patients are either unresponsive to lithium or can not tolerate the side effects.  Some of the side effects include thirst, weight gain, nausea, diarrhea, and edema.  Patients who are unresponsive to lithium treatment are often those who experience dysphoric mania, mixed states, or rapid cycling bipolar disorder.  One problem associated with lithium is the fact the long-term lithium treatment has been associated with decreased thyroid function in-patients with bipolar disorder.  Preliminary evidence also suggest that hypothyroidism may actually lead to rapid cycling (Bauer et al., 1990).  

There are other effective treatments for bipolar disorder that are used in cases where the patients cannot tolerate lithium or have been unresponsive to it in the past.  The American Psychiatric Association's guidelines suggest the next line of treatment to be Anticonvulsant drugs such as valproate and lamotrigine.  These drugs are useful as antimanic agents, especially in those patients with mixed states.  Both of these medications can be used in combination with lithium or in combination with each other.  Valproate is especially helpful for patients who are lithium noncompliant, experience rapid cycling, or have comorbid alcohol or drug abuse.  Neuroleptics such as haloperidol or chlorpromazine have also been used to help stabilize manic patients who are highly agitated or psychotic.  Use of these drugs is often necessary because the response to them is rapid, but there are risks involved in their use.  Because of the often-severe side effects, Benzodiazepines are often used in their place.  Benzodiazepines can achieve the same results as Neuroleptics for most patients in terms of rapid control of agitation and excitement, without the severe side effects.  Some doctors as treatment for bipolar disorder have also used antidepressants such as the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI’s) fluovamine and amitriptyline.  A double-blind study by M. Gasperini, F. Gatti, L. Bellini, R.Anniverno, and E. Smeraldi showed that fluvoxamine and amitriptyline are highly effective treatments for bipolar patients experiencing depressive episodes (1992).  This study is controversial however, because conflicting research shows that SSRI’s and other antidepressants can actually precipitate manic episodes.  Most doctors can see the usefulness of antidepressants when used in conjunction with mood stabilizing medications such as lithium.  

Table 3 

Beyond Lithiuma: Current Pharmacological Armamentarium for Bipolar Disorder
──────────────────────────────────────────────────
Anticonvulsants       Calcium channel blockers   Atypical antipsychotics   Benzodiazepines   Antidepressants
──────────────────────────────────────────────────
valproatea         verapamil               olanzapinea            lorazepam            bupropion
carbamazepine        diltiazem               risperidone            clonazepam             paroxetine
lamotrigine         nifedipine               clozapine                          fluoxetine
gabapentin         nimodipine               quetiapine                       citalopram
topiramate                          ziprasidone                       sertraline
tiagabine                                           venlafaxine
──────────────────────────────────────────────────

Note. Drug names: valproate (Depakote); carbamazepine (Tegretol); lamotrigine (Lamictal); gabapentin (Neurontin); topiramate (Topamax); tiagabine (Gabitril); verapamil (Calan); diltiazem (Cardizem); nifedipine (Procardia); nimodipine (Nimotop); olanzapine (Zyprexa); risperidone (Risperdal); clozapine (Clozaril); quetiapine (Seroquel); ziprasidone (Geodon); lorazepam (Ativan); clonazepam (Klonopin); bupropion (Wellbutrin); paroxetine (Paxil); fluoxetine (Prozac); citalopram (Celexa); sertraline (Zoloft); venlafaxine (Effexor). Approved by the Food and Drug Administration for the treatment of acute mania.  (Rivas-Vazquez, Rey, Johnson, & Blais, 2002)

In addition to the mentioned pharmacological treatments of bipolar disorder, there are several other options available to bipolar patients, most of which are used in conjunction with medicine.  One such treatment is light therapy.  One study compared the response to light therapy of bipolar patients with that of unipolar patients.  Patients were free of psychotropic and hypnotic medications for at least one month before treatment.  Bipolar patients in this study showed an average of 90.3% improvement in their depressive symptoms, with no incidence of mania or hypomania.  They all continued to use light therapy, and all showed a sustained positive response at a three-month follow-up (Hopkins and Gelenberg, 1994).  Another study involved a four-week treatment of bright morning light treatment for patients with seasonal affective disorder and bipolar patients.  This study found a statistically significant decrement in depressive symptoms, with the maximum antidepressant effect of light not being reached until week four (Baur, Kurtz, Rubin, and Markus, 1994).  Hypomanic symptoms were experienced by 36% of bipolar patients in this study.  Predominant hypomanic symptoms included racing thoughts, decreased sleep and irritability.  Surprisingly, one-third of controls also developed symptoms such as those mentioned above.  Regardless of the explanation of the emergence of hypomanic symptoms in undiagnosed controls, it is evident from this study that light treatment may be associated with the observed symptoms. Based on the results, careful professional monitoring during light treatment is necessary, even for those without a history of major mood disorders.  Another popular treatment for bipolar disorder is electro-convulsive shock therapy. ECT is the preferred treatment for severely manic pregnant patients and patients who are homicidal, psychotic, catatonic, medically compromised, or severely suicidal. In one study, researchers found marked improvement in 78% of patients treated with ECT, compared to 62% of patients treated only with lithium and 37% of patients who received neither, ECT or lithium (Black et al., 1987).  A final type of therapy is outpatient group psychotherapy. According to Dr. John Graves, spokesperson for The National Depressive and Manic Depressive Association has called attention to the value of support groups, and challenged mental health professionals to take a more serious look at group therapy for the bipolar population.  Research shows that group participation may help increase lithium compliance, decrease denial regarding the illness, and increase awareness of both external and internal stress factors leading to manic and depressive episodes. Group therapy for patients with bipolar disorders responds to the need for support and reinforcement of medication management, and the need for education and support for the interpersonal difficulties that arise during the course of the disorder.
It is clear that in our society many people live with bipolar disorder; however, despite the abundance of people suffering from the disorder, we are still waiting for definite explanations for the causes and cure. The one fact of which we are painfully aware is that bipolar disorder severely undermines its’ victims ability to obtain and maintain social and occupational success. Because bipolar disorder has such debilitating symptoms, it is imperative that we remain vigilant in the quest for explanations of its causes and treatment.


Methods

Participants

Participants were 20 Bipolar I patients receiving outpatient treatment from South Mississippi Psychiatric Group, who agreed to participate in a longitudinal study of the pharmacotherapy of the course of illness.  Patients had been diagnosed according to Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (4th ed.; DSM-IV) criteria, and all had a history of at least one manic episode.  All the patients in the clinic received a 3- to 4-hr diagnostic evaluation from at least one staff psychiatrist, who also obtained detailed information on prior psychiatric history and treatment, including dates of previous hospitalizations for bipolar disorder.  Following evaluation, patients were referred for treatment, and all the bipolar patients in the present study were on medication and followed by a staff psychiatrist.  A research staff member, a monitored patient’ clinical status on the basis of psychiatrists’ records.  When patients achieved remission or best clinical state, they were recruited.  After participants received a complete description of the study, written informed consent was obtained.  


Procedure

An ongoing symptom assessment was used.  Patients were seen on an as-needed basis by their psychiatrists (usually monthly, but varying by individual need from weekly to every 3 months).  At each visit, the psychiatrist completed a DSM-IV checklist of symptoms, including those occurring since the last visit, of mania, hypomania, and major and minor depression; the psychiatrist also completed his case notes.  Changes in symptoms were dated as carefully as possible.  The physicians also made ratings of medication compliance and noted current medication treatment.  The patient was blind to physician records including routine clinic procedures.  
The information from patient visit reports were transferred by research staff to individual symptom time lines that indicated diagnostic status and dates and duration of symptoms.  The research staff, to determine whether and when patients experienced a significant change over the course of the follow-up inspected the time lines.  The time lines were also used to determine how many, if any, and how often relapses occurred during year 1; and also to determine how many remained in remission at the year 1 follow-up.  The research staff inspected each patient’s records every 2 weeks for year 1.  At each 2-week inspection of records, it was noted whether the patient remained in remission or had a relapse.  Also, the inspection noted whether the patients’ medications had changed when relapse occurred.  At the end of year 1 each patient’s records were reviewed by the research staff and analyzed for success of attaining remission status.


Results

Among the patients, 4 were full-time students, 2 were professionals, 6 were too disabled to work (although a few performed voluntary services), and the rest worked at least part-time on a regular basis.  Overall, 60% remained in remission at the end of year 1; whereas, 40% were not in remission at the end of year 1.  Patients who remained in remission with less than 2 relapses in year 1 consisted of 2 students and 2 professionals.  Patients which remained in remission with 2 but less than 4 relapses in year 1 consisted of 2 students, 1 disabled, and 1 part-time worker.  Patients who remained in remission at the end of year 1 with 5 or more relapses and at least one hospitalization consisted of 2 disabled and 2 part-time workers.  Patients who were not in remission at the end of year 1 that were hospitalized 2 or more times consisted of 3 disabled and 5 part-time workers. 


Conclusion

Students and professionals are more likely to have fewer relapses than disabled are and part-time workers are.  Disabled and part-time workers are more likely to be hospitalized.  

NOTE:  -2 is remission with less than 2 relapses in year 1.  +2 / -4 is remission with more than 2 but less than 4 relapses in year 1.  +5 is remission with more than 5 relapses and at least one hospitalization is year 1.  Hospital is not in remission with one or more hospitalizations in year 1.


Discussion

Diagnostic and treatments associated with bipolar disorder poses a challenge, particularly the various classes of medication currently used in pharmacotherapy for the disorder.  (Rivas-Vazquez, Rey, Johnson, & Blais, 2002)  This study was only to provide information on what type of patients attain remission versus not attaining remission.  The results showed that students and professionals are the most successful at attaining remission with the least amount of relapses in year 1.  They are more likely to be successful in remission because they are more educated.  It shows that part-time workers are the most likely to not attain remission and to be hospitalized in year 1, with disabled patients coming in close second.  Part-time workers may have a more difficult time reaching remission due to life-stress, such as social- or work-related.  Disabled patients are usually monitored more closely with their medications, but are more prone to not take medications properly or stop taking medications, which can cause relapses.  In all cases, it seems to be extremely important to have some type of therapy for support of medication therapy.  A patient having had psychosocial interventions is more likely to attain remission.  Although pharmacotherapy represents the primary treatment for bipolar disorder, augmentation with various psychotherapeutic techniques is now being recommended by practice guidelines (Rivas-Vazquez, Rey, Johnson, & Blais, 2002).  To offset high rates of medication discontinuation and overall noncompliance, psychotherapy is becoming the primary target.  Psychotherapeutic interventions are targeting risk factors associated with mood instability.  (Rivas-Vazquez, Rey, Johnson, & Blais, 2002)  Over the last several years, various forms of adjacent psychotherapy have been developed for bipolar disorder, including cognitive-behavioral, interpersonal, psycho-educational, and family therapies (Rivas-Vazquez, Rey, Johnson, & Blais, 2002).  In this study we reviewed Bipolar disorder, diagnostic and pharmacological treatments, but did not review how psychotherapeutic interventions can impact the success of a patient to attain and maintain remission.  The success rate is believed to be higher in-patients who receive psychotherapeutic interventions along with medications.  Although lithium remains the most widely used resource, limitations associated with its use have prompted clinicians and researchers to explore the application of several different classes of agents, including anticonvulsants, calcium channel blockers, atypical antipsychotics, benxodiazepines and antidepressants, to the acute and long-term management of bipolar disorder.  Psychotherapeutic modalities can serve as adjunctive interventions to pharmacotherapy.  (Rivas-Vazquez, Rey, Johnson, & Blais, 2002)


References

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Bauer, M.S., Kurtz, J.W., Rubin, L.B., and Marcus, J.G. (1994). Mood and Behavioral effects of four-week light treatment in winter depressives and controls. Journal of Psychiatric Research. 28, 2: 135-145.

Bauer, M.S., Whybrow, P.C. and Winokur, A. (1990). Rapid Cycling Bipolar Affective Disorder: I. Association with grade I hypothyroidism. Archives of General Psychiatry. 47: 427-432.

Black, D.W., Winokur, G., and Nasrallah, A. (1987). Treatment of Mania: A naturalistic study of electroconvulsive therapy versus lithium in 438 patients. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. 48: 132-139.

Gasperini, M., Gatti, F., Bellini, L., Anniverno, R., Smeralsi, E., (1992). Perspectives in clinical psychopharmacology of amitriptyline and fluvoxamine. Pharmacopsychiatry. 26:186-192.

Goodwin, F.K., and Jamison, K.R. (1990). Manic Depressive Illness. New York: Oxford University Press.
Goodwin, Donald W. and Guze, Samuel B. (1989). Psychiatric Diagnosis. Fourth Ed. Oxford University. p.7.

Hirschfeld, R.M. (1995). Recent Developments in Clinical Aspects of Bipolar Disorder. The Decade of the Brain. National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. Winter. Vol. VI. Issue II.

Hollandsworth, James G. (1990). The Physiology of Psychological Disorders. Plenem Press. New York and London. P.111.

 Hopkins, H.S. and Gelenberg, A.J. (1994). Treatment of Bipolar Disorder: How Far Have We Come? Psychopharmacology Bulletin. 30 (1): 27-38.

Jacobson, S.J., Jones, K., Ceolin, L., Kaur, P., Sahn, D., Donnerfeld, A.E., Rieder, M., Santelli, R., Smythe, J., Patuszuk, A., Einarson, T., and Koren, G., (1992). Prospective multicenter study of pregnancy outcome after lithium exposure during the first trimester. Laricet. 339: 530-533.

Lish, J.D., Dime-Meenan, S., Whybrow, P.C., Price, R.A. and Hirschfeld, R.M. (1994). The National Depressive and Manic Depressive Association (DMDA) Survey of Bipolar Members. Affective Disorders. 31: pp.281-294.

Rivas-Vazquez, R.A., Rey, G.J., Johnson, S.L., Blais, M.A. (2002). Professional Psychology: Research and Practice. 33, 2, 212-223.

Weisman, M.M., Livingston, B.M., Leaf, P.J., Florio, L.P., Holzer, C. (1991). Psychiatric Disorders in America. Affective Disorders. Free Press.



NATURE VS. NURTURE CONTROVERSY

Nature vs. Nurture Controversy


By Robbyn Wallace
2003


There is a big controversy between whether inherited genes or the environment influences and affect our personality, development, behavior, intelligence and ability. This controversy is most often recognized as the nature verses nurture conflict. Some people believe that it is strictly genes that affect our ways of life, others believe that it is the environment that affects us, and some believe that both of these influence us. Either way, social scientists have been struggling for centuries deciding whether our personalities are born or made. Tests are done often on identical twins that were separated to see how they are influenced. In the past twenty years, it has been discovered that there is a genetic component to about every human trait and behavior. However, genetic influence on traits and behavior is partial because genetics account on average for half of the variation of most traits. Researchers are finding that the balance between genetic and environmental influences for certain traits change as people get older. Also, people may react to us in a certain way because of a genetically influenced personality and, we may choose certain experiences because they fit best with our instinctive preferences. This means that our experiences may be influenced by our genetic tendencies. One way researchers study the development of traits and behaviors is by measuring the influence of genetics through out ones life span, and it is found to be that the genetic influence on certain trait increase as people age. A research was done to see whether a trait would show up in a child if it was environmentally influenced or genetically influenced. A child was given more negative attention than another was, and it increased the chances of the child having depressive symptoms and anti-social behavior. But these symptoms disappeared when accounted for genetic influences and how parents treat their children. There are three types of gene/environment relations. The first one is called a passive correlation. It is to be explained as, for example, if a musical ability was genetic, and a child was passed a musical ability trait, than the child would most likely have musically inclined parents. Their parents then would provide them with the genes and environment to promote the development of that ability. The second one is called evocative. This happens when genetically distinct people evoke different reactions from peers and parents and others. And the third association is called an active correlation. This is when people actively select experiences that fit with their genetically influenced preferences. This doesn't mean that there are no environmental influences on behavior, because, for example, it is found to be that a loss of a parent during childhood promotes alcoholism in women. It is shown that genetics play a big role on influences in people and society. Leadership is a big quality that everyone has and has a wide range of variations. Heritability is what researchers call 'the degree to which behavioral variations within a population can be accounted for by genes.' Heritability is what is found to make up a lot of one's personality. For a while, scientists have been trying to draw a line between heredity and leadership also. There is no single leadership personality. Even intelligence can go so far with leadership. It also involves how people make decisions, and how they give and carry out rules, how they are involved with a group, how they inspire and respect others. The list of characteristics is endless. Although genes seem to play as a map for a person's life, researchers caution that genes act only as an influence. Anyone who has enough will or a strong enough experience could affect the way they act or react for the rest of their life. In other words, if an environmental background is changed, the amount of variation that is due to genetics can change. In conclusion, it is safe to say that the role of genetics and the environment equalize people's traits and behavior. You cannot blame either one because without one, the other would not be activated. Genes affect a lot of your personality and behavior but the environment mutates and molds the way people are going to act. This will always be an ongoing controversy because it is nearly impossible to pin point accurately where the role of genes and the environment steps in. 


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Parrenas, J.  (2000, October).  Nature & nurture; homosexuality—research.  Lesbian news, 26(3), 29.  Retrieved from:  http://search.epnet.com/direct.asp?an=3735848&db=f5h

(1998, January 3).  Twins -- research; nature & nurture—research.  Economist, 346(8049), 74.  Retrieved from:  http://search.epnet.com/direct.asp?an=35349&db=f5h


Childern Are What They Live

CHILDREN ARE WHAT THEY LIVE
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Engraved

Engraved


By Robbyn Wallace


As I lye here and cry, only to ask why


An angel entered my life, just to leave me in strife


Ten years had passed, and I wonder 'why so fast'


Now as I fold, memories I will still hold


My heart reaches out, finding nothing but doubt


For death is upon us, there need not be a fuss


Between me and you, I may always feel blue


Life is not a game, nothing remains the same


I have been left behind, with nothing but time

 

Feeling days with despairs, and having too many cares

My heart he will be near, and I will not fear


The emptiness in my soul, feeling hollow like a hole


It overwhelms me with grief, that our time was so brief


But he is engraved in my mind, for all eternity of time


As sanity slips away, reality is here to stay


He may not be here with me, but safe I know he will be




By your big sis Robbyn Wallace to my beloved little brother

Christopher Glen Wallace
Born 24 June 1988
Died 4 July 1998
Whom I will miss very much and love always!

Big Sis

BIG SIS

By Robbyn Wallace


Christopher

With you, I changed my first diaper

With me, you took your very first steps

With you, I played, taught and listened

With me, you shared your most intimate secretes, emotions, feelings and experiences

With you, I felt needed and wanted

With me, you felt understood

With you, I felt appreciated and loved

With me, you took hiking trips and adventures through the woods

With you, I remembered and understood what a childhood was and is

With me, you allowed me to be a great big sister

With you, I was allowed the opportunity to really know and appreciate you

I just want to say Thank You!!