By Robbyn R. Wallace
What is "Rejection"?
(Social, also including work-related) rejection occurs when an individual is deliberately excluded from a interpersonal relationship or social relation (in any setting).
A person can be rejected on an individual basis or by an entire group of people. Furthermore, rejection can be either active, by bullying, teasing, or ridiculing, etc. or passive, by ignoring a person, giving the "silent treatment", etc. The experience of being rejected is subjective for (aka... based on individual perception of) the recipient, and it can be perceived when it is not actually present. Although humans are social beings, some level of rejection is an inevitable part of life. Nevertheless, rejection can become a problem when it is prolonged or consistent, when the relationship is important, or when the individual is highly sensitive to rejection. The experience of rejection can lead to a number of adverse psychological consequences such as loneliness, low self-esteem, aggression, and depression. It can also lead to feelings of insecurity and a heightened sensitivity to future rejection.
Rejection being subjective for the recipient means that anytime you feel excluded or isolated from a person or persons, no matter the situation or experience, "you" are being "rejected" regardless of what the true circumstances or intentions of the situation or experience were or is. Even if it may not have been intentional or known about by the culpretes, it still does damage to the recipient. Who am I to say what another person feels, as a result of their perception of the situation or experience, is true or false! We are all only capable of truly knowing what we feel and determining our own truth, which is not always the same truth another person may hold to be true to themself! Therefore, it is important that each person first strive for self-awareness on the journey to self-discovery, before expecting any understanding of human behavior...
What type/kind of emotions do you think stem from being rejected on an individual basis or by an entire group of people? What about the possible emotions steming from a rejector? How did or does it make you feel to be rejected or to be a rejector? How did being rejected or being the rejector in the past shape how you "NOW" react to, or the feeling of, being rejected? How does past rejection(s) effect you today, or likewise being the rejector effect you today?
Now on to the exercise portion!
The 4 step exercise will not only help you better understand yourself, your own thoughts and perceptions, experiences or even your reactions to past and present experiences and emotions, but it should inspire a greater understanding and insight of human emotions and behaviours deriving from not only rejection but also any other negatively driven behavior and/or emotion (whether it be an action or reaction)... Just take a moment to exchange "rejection" with any other action/ behavior or emotion! Hopefully this will help you better understand why you (and possibly others) feel toward/about and/or react to people or experiences in negative or even positives ways.
The main purpose to this exercise is to teach an easy method to not only self-discovery but also to understanding yourself and others, which will hopefully lead to more positive interactions with the people you interact with, especially those nearest and dearest to your heart!
1. Apply "Rejection" in ANY scenario, then ask yourself, and ponder on, how it would feel to be the "rejected" AND the "rejector"!
2. Now, I want you to ponder and consider how it could make someone, anyone, else feel!
3. Then compare and contrast how you would feel versus how someone else "might" feel in the same scenario!
Feel free to do this with as many different types of scenarios as you can think of! Also, take time to recognize past and present "real-life" scenarios that have affected and do affect you or someone you care about or even know, and try to allow yourself to empathize and/or sympathize with whomever the scenario envolves, whether it be yourself or someone else or both!
4. Lastly, once you have pondered long and hard on the scenario(s) and all envolved, take a minute to appreciate your own thoughts and what they reveal to you, then appreciate (hopefully) the understanding of how you have and do handle your own emotions and how others "might" handle theirs... Above all, give just one more moment to give appreciation that we are all unique beings and all handle emotions and situations differently... AND... "Thank God"... Appreciate that God gave us a brain to learn with, ears to listen with, mouth to speak with, heart to love with, eyes to see with, people who have the desire to teach others, and the internet and FaceBook as a great tool to reach others' hearts and minds!
This exercise will not only help you better understand yourself, your own thoughts and perceptions, experiences or even your reactions to past and present experiences and emotions, but it should inspire a greater understanding and insight of human emotions and behaviours deriving from not only rejection but also any other negatively driven emotion and/or behavior (whether it be an action or reaction)... Just take a moment to exchange "rejection" with any other action, behavior or emotion! Hopefully this will help you better understand why you (and possibly others) feel toward/about and/or react to people or experiences in negative or even positives ways. The main purpose to this exercise is to teach a/one method to not only self-discovery but also to understanding others, which will hopefully lead to more positive interactions with the people you interact with especially those nearest and dearest to your heart!
Emotions are so flippin human!!!! Just imagine an existence NOT driven by human emotion but only by love and true understanding. Can you truly grasp the overwhelming presence of peace in that?!?! Anyway, that would be nice but impossible in the human realm.
Please keep in mind that all people are unique in how they perceive and react to the world depending on factors such their mental health, their environment past and present, their own collective, good and bad, experiences and the experiences of those who have had and do have any influence in their life (such as a sibling, friend, acquaintance or even a stranger), etc. AND always remember, the more you understand yourself, the easier it will become to understand, accept, have compassion for, even tolerate others and their shortcomings... In turn this "could" and "should" allow you to be a better communicator, which is an essential part to any type of relationship (aka... family, friendships, work relationships or any type of other relationship)!
However, we are ALL more "alike" than you could ever imagine, emotions can only be felt in so many different ways even though we are all unique individuals... Ultimately we all are just living THE HUMAN existence, confined to it til death do us part for better or worse! It is up to us to make the best of our own journey, and are benefited greatly by understanding, accepting, and loving others that happen to be on our path!
We are all imperfect. However, not all people experience the same things or problems or in the same way, and some are fortunate to not experience much negative in life. However, most all people, whether they are consciously aware of it or not at the time, struggle with all the different types of emotions, to different degrees even, at some point in there life, whether it be from the past, present, or possibly the future. Even if you can not relate to rejection par say, you might know someone that has or may in the future face this delima or one similar OR eventually you may experience it yourself! Either way, it never hurts to gain a better and deeper understanding of human behaviors and emotions, because sooner or later it WILL benifit you or someone you care about! Interaction with others is a MUST in today's world!
Every action/behavior has a reaction/consequence. Everything we do in life sends a ripple effect out into the world, it is up to each individual as to the ripple effect! Once that ripple is started it is out of your control, so it is very important that each ripple is done with self-awareness as to what type of effects, positive or negative, we are releasing into the world! Just remember, for every action there is a reaction! If you desire good reactions from others or life in general, then always "try" to be aware of the type actions/behaviors you are distributing not only to others but to all that you do and are in life!
Each and every person has the potential to make a difference in the world, one person at a time! Right?
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!!
Remember, sometimes it is the small stuff that make the biggest difference!
Good Luck on your path to self-discovery, and hopefully on your path to be the "person" you were truly meant to be in this life-time!
P.S. Leaning patience and tolerance for others will lead to a happier and more fulfilling life!! God Bless!! ~ME~ :)
